Crochet a Jayne Cobb Hat!

(AKA the hat that only a badass could wear)

You will need:

Size I crochet hook
1 skein gold worsted weight yarn (I used Vanna’s Choice acrylic)
1 skein pumpkin worsted weight yarn (again, I used Vanna’s Choice)
1 skein rust worsted weight yarn (guess what – yep, Vanna wins again!)
A smug smile when anyone (anyone?? *sound of  crickets chirping*) gets the reference

I do recommend working your yarn ends in as you go because I am lazy and bossy at the  same time. Also, you will be working in the  round for the main part of the hat, that means DO NOT TURN. Another lazy method, no seams to sew at the end. And all caps because I AM BOSSY.

HAT CROWN (GOLD YARN)

There are 2 ways to start this off – with a magic circle OR chain 3, join last chain to  first with a slip stitch to form a circle; then –

R1 – ch 1, make 6 sc into the circle, join with a sl st

R2 – ch 1, 2 sc in each sc, join with a sl st

R3 – ch 1, *1 sc in first sc, 2 sc in next sc*, repeat from * to * 5 times, join with a sl st

R4 – ch 1, *1 sc in each next 2 sc, 2 sc in next sc*, repeat from * to * 5 times, join with a sl st

R5 – ch 1, *1 sc in each next 3 sc, 2 sc in  next sc*, repeat from * to * 5 times, join with a sl st

R6 – ch 1, *1 sc in each next 4 sc, 2 sc in next sc*, repeat from * to * 5 times, join with  a sl st

R7 – ch 1, *1 sc in each next 5 sc, 2 sc in next sc*, repeat from * to * 5 times, join with a sl st

R8 – ch 1, *1 sc in each next 6 sc, 2 sc in next sc*, repeat from * to * 5 times, join with a sl st

R9 – ch 1, *1 sc in each next 7 sc, 2 sc in next sc*, repeat from * to * 5 times, join with a sl st

R10 – ch 1, *1 sc in each next 8 sc, 2 sc in  next sc*, repeat from * to * 5 times, join with a sl st

*STOP HERE AND PROCEED TO HAT BODY FOR A CHILD
SIZE HAT*

R11 – ch 1, *1 sc in each next 9 sc, 2 sc in next sc*, repeat from * to * 5 times, join with a sl st

R12 – ch 1, *1 sc in each next 10 sc, 2 sc in next sc*, repeat from * to * 5 times, join with a sl st

*STOP HERE AND PROCEED TO HAT BODY FOR A
LARGE CHILD/SMALL ADULT SIZE HAT*

R13 – ch 1, *1 sc in each next 11 sc, 2 sc in next sc*, repeat from * to * 5 times, join with a sl st

R14 – ch 1, *1 sc in each next 12 sc, 2 sc in next sc*, repeat from * to * 5 times, join with a sl st

*YOU NOW HAVE A LARGE ADULT SIZE HAT CROWN. IF
YOU NEED THIS LARGER, I’M SURE YOU’VE
FIGURED OUT MY SECRET PATTERN. ALSO,
I HOPE YOUR MOM HAD A C-SECTION.*

HAT BODY (GOLD YARN)

R1 – ch 1, 1 sc in each sc, join with a sl st

*Repeat R1 until:
1 inch long for small child size
2 in long for large child/small adult
3 in long for large adult

HAT BRIM (PUMPKIN YARN)

R1 – ch 1, 1 sc in each sc, join with a sl st

*repeat R1 –
once for sm child size
twice for lg child/sm adult
thrice for lg adult

HAT BRIM RIBBING (PUMPKIN YARN)

R1 – chain 3, alternating using the front loops and back loops only, dc in each sc, join with a sl st to the 3rd ch of the turning ch

R2 – chain 3, and in the same alternating pattern as R1, dc around the front posts and rear posts of each prior  rounds dc, join with a sl st to the 3rd chain of the turning ch

*STOP HERE FOR SM CHILD SIZE AND FASTEN OFF*

*Repeat R2 –
once for lg child/sm adult
twice for lg adult
then – fasten off

EAR FLAPS (DONE TWICE, ONCE FOR EACH EAR, WITH RUST YARN)

R1 – Join yarn to the ribbed brim using the inner/back loops only, ch 1, 1 sc in the back loop of next 20 dc, turn

R2 – ch 1, using both front and back loops sc2together, sc in remaining sc, turn

*Repeat R2 until only 3 sc remain, turn, and sc3together, fasten off and weave in end. Repeat on the other side of the hat, a bit offset (there should be more space between the ear flaps at the front of the hat than the back)

Using all 3 colors of yarn, make a –
2 in pompom for sm child size
2 1/2 in pompom for lg child/sm adult
3 in pompom for lg adult

*I truly suck at pompoms, so I will NOT be supplying a tutorial or even basic instructions. Seriously, YouTube can teach you much better than I.

Attach the pompom to the top and display your geekish glory to the world!

**This is my very first written pattern.  Proceed at your own risk.  I have one unconfirmed tale of spontaneous combustion, so please – next of kin – let me know how it goes.

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